Beyonce claims girls run the world, but that might need a tweak to say ‘women’ instead. Countless women in our community perform the role of the matriarch: guiding our young people, setting standards, preserving tradition and passing on wisdom.
Two women who have been there and done that spoke to us about why it is important for our young people to learn from their elders.
Josette Smith, 58, has been a customs officer, counter clerk at the Post Office, taxi driver, hairdresser, and is now a bus driver. She’s seen many a social situation, is firm in her opinions on how to live life well and hopes to pass on her knowledge as she goes about her life.
Ruth Adams, 86, has been blessed with life, is a former nursery teacher who volunteers serving food and providing groceries to the community.
As a grandmother, she’s had the opportunity to pass on both hard and soft skills to family members and the community.
Aaliyah Roach, 24, is reaping the benefits as Ms Smith’s daughter and Ms Adams’ granddaughter.
She shares that she has learnt patience and how to think things through before actioning them from Ms Adams; and she picked up tenacity, nurturing skills, forgiveness, the ability to be humble, and diligence from Ms Smith.
We asked the matriarchs about some of their key life lessons.
What are the most important life lessons you’ve learned?
Ms Smith: To have patience and practice gratitude.
Ms Adams: Do good and you will be blessed by God. Wrong decisions and regrets will haunt you for the rest of your life.
What are the biggest changes you have seen in your lifetime?
Ms Smith: Lack of community-based neighborhoods, and our ability to be connected to the outside world.
Ms Adams: There is a lot of temptation in the world due to the increased usage of cellphones amongst adults and children.
How have you coped with significant challenges or changes?
Ms Smith: Learning to adapt, taking courses, asking questions, and seeking assistance.
Ms Adams: Lots of prayer! Asking the Lord for protection, direction, and guidance for everyone involved.
What do you think is the key to a happy or successful life?
Ms Smith: Peaceful settings. Having hobbies. Loving family. Creating memorable moments.
Ms Adams: Putting God in full control each and every day.
What’s a family tradition that you hope continues?
Ms Smith: Passing on recipes and experimenting together with a new set of eyes on old recipes.
Ms Adams: To be there for each other during good, bad, and especially difficult times. I’d like to continue our yearly New Year’s game day where we have fun together without distraction.
What’s something you wish more people knew about your life or experiences?
Ms Smith: My experiences have taught me to keep pushing forward and react in a calm manner.
Ms Adams: That I am not perfect and never will be.
What’s the best part about getting older?
Ms Smith: Watching my children and grandchildren grow up into the best version of themselves. The little things mean a lot.
Ms Adams: Just knowing that God is supplying me with health and strength each day.
What skills do you have that have helped you in some way throughout your life?
Ms Smith: My ability to ignore noise has kept me out of trouble. Upholstery and sewing have helped me create a comfortable and peaceful environment at home. Cooking and baking bring a yummy calmness into my space.
Ms Adams: Cooking, knitting, crocheting, sewing, and teaching others the same.
Do you think it’s important for younger people to learn some dying skills like weaving, map-reading or mental mathematics?
Ms Smith: Yes, it’s instrumental to their survival, success, and wellbeing.
Ms Adams: Definitely, yes! They need to use the gifts that God has given them.
What skills do you think are important for young people to learn in Bermuda now?
Ms Smith: Learning how to maintain themselves by learning how to do laundry, following a recipe step by step, stress management skills, self-awareness, coping with stress and decision making. These basic skills can make a break an individual.
Ms Adams: I believe they need many as technology has taken away from basic life skills. I think young people need to learn how to own up to their own mistakes. Strong skills to learn would be how to save and manage their money better as times get harder – not spending it on things that are wants but essentials to living day to day.
What are your hopes for future generations?
Ms Smith: That they succeed at their best potential. That they have joy. Continuously be God-fearing, noble individuals. Being kind to each other. Enjoying life to the fullest.
Ms Adams: To achieve their own positive goals in life and acceptance of Christ.
