An independent mindset and willingness to engage with the unknown have always been crucial attributes for young people embarking on university life.
But for today’s generation of teenagers who have grown up in our digital world – where electronic contact is increasingly the norm – diving into face-to-face interactions with new people can feel more daunting than ever.
This can add up to a worrying time for parents. With your guidance, however, there’s still plenty of time for any young person to develop the engagement skills they need for success.
Thaao Dill is the director of programming at the Adult Education School, where more than half the learners are aged between 16 and 19.
He said: “I’m sure that parents islandwide can relate to how much more comfortable young people feel using devices as their main method of interacting with the world.
“I’ve been to parties for the young people where they’re sitting on couches, feet, if not inches away from each other, in complete silence with the phones out, but texting to talk to one another.
“Now, that sounds bizarre – why the extra step? But it doesn’t feel like an extra step for them. This is the way that they communicate and share ideas. They feel this is the safest, most reliable, most accessible way to communicate with folks.”
Today’s older teenagers were aged 11-13 when the first Covid lockdown happened in 2020. Scientists across the world are researching the lingering impact of that isolation on their mental wellbeing today.
Mr Dill noted that young teenagers of 2020 missed out on an essential phase of their social development, which might still be impacting them.
“At that age, people are forming and maintaining healthy relationships, and engaging in reasonable interaction with their peers, resolving disagreements and pursuing fun conversations,” he said.
“It’s stuff that we take for granted, but they just lost a huge chunk of that. During lockdown, the digital space became even more their primary way to communicate.”
Learners have shared with Mr Dill that they found it easier to disengage during lockdown.
“With so many of this age group, they would say that during the pandemic period they would open their laptop, turn on their camera for a bit, then turn it off.
“They would pretend to listen while the camera was on, and while it was off, they would just stop and do whatever they wanted, which was typically just picking up their phone and going on TikTok or Instagram until the class ended.
“Then they would get back on my phone, then maybe sleep, and then repeat the process the next day. And that was their life for a couple of years.”
Even after they returned to school, digital communication remained the more comfortable option.
“When you’re primarily communicating on the phone, or a computer, if it starts to feel uncomfortable or disinteresting, or just something you don’t want to participate in, you can just scroll to a different app. And then it’s over. It’s done. The discomfort is gone.”
Parents can help by starting some old-fashioned conversations.
Mr Dill said: “Because they spent so much time disconnected from others in a meaningful way, you’ve got to connect with them that much more deeply in a meaningful way.
“Literally put the phone away. Not even in your pocket. Put it where you can’t touch it. And we gotta talk.
“I’ve got to ask you questions about what you’re thinking. And why you’re thinking of that. And I’ll tell you what I’m thinking. And then once, we get your answers, we can act on them.”
If this kind of engagement becomes normal, your teenager will be more likely to succeed in the wider world.
“So, when they walk into a building full of people they’ve never met, or into an office with a person that has information that they need to get their goals achieved, they’re able to have that conversation confidently in a forthright way,” Mr Dill said.
“They need to make eye contact with the person, tell them what they need, ask them how they can get it, ask the necessary follow-up questions, and be prepared to act on the information that they get.
“And, if we’re lucky, they can be charming in the process.”
